Showing posts with label Describing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Describing. Show all posts

Thursday, 14 June 2018

My Planet Writing

Create and Describe Your Own Planet -
Description writing task
Term 2 Weeks 5-6

Purpose of this piece of writing is to:

Learning Intentions
I am learning to use language features to make my writing interesting and engaging for the reader.
I am learning to use topic-specific vocabulary.
I am learning to include Te Reo Māori words in my writing.

I will be successful when I can show….
-I have used some language features to make my writing interesting and engaging (simile, metaphor, alliteration, onomatopoeia, rhyme)
-I have carefully chosen some topic specific words to include in my writing.
-I have used some Te Reo Māori

Focus

We are continuing to look at descriptive writing. This week you are writing a descriptive piece of writing to promote your imaginary planet. You aim is to convince people to move to your planet. You want your writing to allow the reader to be able to imagine what it is like on your planet.

First, we will look at an excerpt of a video describing the moon from the Avatar movie. Click here to get to video= Pandora.

Second, we will discuss together what you will need in your work to make it successful and look at how to plan our work. Then you will plan your work and check with a teacher before you start writing.

Third, do your piece of writing.

Fourth, complete you piece of writing. Remember to proof-read (check spelling and punctuation) and edit (does it make sense? do you need to change any sentences?) yourself and with a buddy and fill in your self and peer-assessment. Check it with a teacher.

My Writing

Rendered Image

Starbodia is a tropical planet that orbits its own sun.  Starbodia is 5000 million light years away from our solar system in the solar system called Starlala. The solar system Starlala is hidden by a cluster of stars so you HAVE to take the portal  there.

To get to this spectacular planet you have to run as fast as you can into the moana (ocean) then a portal SHOULD open for you and you will arrive in Starbodia.

Starbodia is similar to Earth. It is made of rock and has a molten core. Starbodia is habitable for humans because it produces it own oxygen and the atmosphere is almost perfect. Starbodia is a planet with lots of different islands.   On starbodia there are trees as green as grass and seas as clear as glass. All the trees are fruit trees with fabulous, fresh fruit. There are ngahere pārūrū (rain forests) spread all over the islands. The temperatures on the islands range from -3℃-33℃.  The weather on Starbodia can be a bit wild and windy or very beautiful. The weather there can also be calm but cold.

On the islands there are creatures called Falofuls ; they are tiny red creatures with 3 eyes.   Falofuls aroha (love )to sing and dance. When falofuls are harikoa (happy) they jump up and down and waiata (sing).  There are only 200 Falofuls in Starbodia so there is lots of room for humans to live. Falofuls have been living in Starbodia for millions of years. They have built houses in the fruit trees and schools in the sand. But  be warned don’t disturb the queen Faloful or she will execute you!

In Starbodia you will have the time of your life. In Starbodia you can swim in the moana (ocean) and dig in the sand.  In the ngahere pārūrū (rain forests) you can climb the tallest trees and build huts in the trunks. In winter it snows for 3 days then you have the rest of winter to play.  Starbodia is the planet of exploration!


By Sasha.

Thursday, 3 November 2016

My Taniwha - Writing

For the past few weeks we have been practising using descriptive language in our writing.We have been trying to 'paint pictures with words.' We all got to event our own taniwha.  We all drew our own taniwha and then we had write about it and describe what it looks like, what we do with our taniwha and what our taniwha is like. Then we read our work to a buddy and they had a go at drawing our taniwha.    




Create and Describe Your Own Creature
(Nogard - Taniwha)

WALT: be descriptive in our writing.  

Look at the description of a Nogard.  Now Create and describe your own creature that you will then be able to read to a buddy so that they can draw it.  Your description must be as detailed and clear as possible so that when you share it with others they will be able to visualise and draw you creature. Use lots of adjectives (describing words - big, small, round, green).

You must .....

  • Have a name for your creature
  • Start from the big things and work your way to the smaller things
  • Describe the shapes
  • Describe its neck, body, tail, wings etc.
  • What does its head look like?Think about its eyes, nose, eyebrows, mouth, teeth
  • Describe its legs/flippers/fins etc.
  • What colours is it?
  • Any extra details on the body like scales, spikes etc.
  • Keep it simple and clear!
  • Use correct punctuation and spelling.
  • Check that your sentences make sense.


Remember that a good writer ‘paints’ pictures in their reader’s head with words.   This is what good descriptive writing does.  






Create your piece of writing here; Sasha
 
Angitu /Lucky!  

Have you ever seen a Taniwha flying through the sky?  
Well I have and I’m going to tell you about the happiest and hoppiest Taniwha in the land!!!!  

This Taniwha is called Angitu or Lucky.  Angitu has an oval body and a circle shaped head. On Angitu’s head there is a bright tawa horn  and sparkling Mawhero ears like a diamond ruby. Her head is  bright, dazzling kikorangi and her body is a deep purple with two black koros and there is one on Angitu’s head too. She has short rectangular legs that are a deep purple in summer and spring and are a light blue in winter and autumn.  Angitu has tiny wings with spikes at the top and four wavy lines.   Angitu's tail is the exact same as a horse tail  but is a deep purple and blue.  Wherever Angitu flies she leaves a  rainbow trail and when she is happy she hops around with a rainbow floating above her.  My Taniwha is kind and gentle with me and she has a good sense of humor. When I am with Angitu I feel lucky.  Angitu lives in a dome shaped house that is always changing colour.   When Angitu and I are together we fly as high as the clouds and we sometimes  see Ranginui and the hokioi bird sitting on a cloud as soft as marshmallow.    Sometimes we fly to the Islands for a nice long holiday or we dive into the mawhera nui with a enormous splash!!! I love visiting my Taniwha Angitu.


This is Milan's drawing of my taniwha.  This is my drawing of mt taniwha

Oct 25, 2016 9:48:10 AM.jpgOct 18, 2016 10:03:23 AM.jpg




Peer Evaluation   Name of Peer:  Milan

What I think you did well:  I think she did well on the punctuation

What I think you could improve on:  Nothing

Self Evaluation

What I think I did well: was describing my taniwha.

What I could improve on: putting in more onomatopoeia.